DONALD TRUMP THINKS ROYAL WEDDING IS A HOAX, DEMANDS TO SEE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
Friday, April 29, 10am
by Norm Magnusson
Presidential hopeful Donald Trump told reporters today he has come to believe this morning’s Royal wedding is a hoax. “At first I thought, ‘yeah, maybe it didn’t really happen’ but I wasn’t so sure,” the stubby-fingered mogul said, “so I sent a coupla my boys to England to dig around a little.” What they discovered “rocked my socks off,” he added, “I mean, who is this Kate Middleton? Where did she come from? What do we really know about her?”
Trump’s questions about the validity of the Royal union are typical of many people in the so-called “Wedlockers” movement, which has been demanding for hours now that the Royal family produce an actual marriage certificate.
“Oh sure, there are announcements in the newspaper,” said Steve Patch, a self-proclaimed Wedlocker, “but anybody can run an ad in the paper or get the kind of crummy media attention that has surrounded this so-called wedding. Why won’t they just come clean and show the certificate?”
“I think they’ve got something to hide,” added The Donald, “I mean, why else in the world wouldn’t they just show the official documents?”
If Mr. Trump and the Wedlocker movement get their way, the papers will be shown and if they aren’t, the wedding will be annulled. Either way, the controversy has certainly not been bad for Trump’s potential presidential bid, with up to 40% of American’s sharing “a modicum of doubt about the validity of the nuptials” even though only 20% of them completely understood that phrase.
The Queen could not be reached, her minions had no comment and speculation that Kate Middleton would be next Mrs. Trump continued to cause a small tempest in the warm tea cup of Anglo-American affairs.